So, Alfred Has A Crush
by belispeak
Summary: Alfred has a crush, Matthew and the fam try to help out, Alfred is suffering. Will Alfred score a date with whoever this person is that's totally not obviously Kiku?
yes, i am back and there's literally no fruk + ameripan fics out there so i felt as if it was my duty to fix that! plus, mi amiga lucy was suffering so i wrote this for her. U BETTER LIKE THIS U BRITISH SHIT. and yall better like this as well this was hell to write...

* * *

Dates are supposed to be romantic - not stressful to the point where you can't concentrate on the unbelievably handsome man sitting in front of you, or the fact that they're holding your hands to try to get you to stop shaking. Pit stains are probably appearing on your clothes now and your right leg just won't. Stop. Bouncing. Arthur was a mess. A sweaty, anxious mess. A sweaty, anxious, _hysterical_ mess.

"Francis, I can't take this." Arthur said in a troubled voice, feeling the anxiety hand him over a deep pain in his hips. "The boys - they're home alone with no supervision! What if they accidentally drink something toxic? What if they burn the house down? What if they kill each other? Francis, please, they're in danger!"

" _Mon Cher..._ " Francis cooed as he kept his hands on top of Arthur's, softly shaking his head. "Alfred and Mathieu are both nineteen-years-old. They can take care of themselves. I mean, they _just_ came home after a semester in college - they're _exhausted._ " He gave Arthur a sweet, reassuring smile and rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb. "They're grown men... _our_ grown men..."

Arthur managed to calm down a bit after Francis' reassurance and sighed quietly, looking down at himself. "You can, uh...let go of my hands now..." He looked back up as he felt the other pair of hands leave his, not being able to help himself but to giggle awkwardly at the beautiful man that sat across from him. "Oh, God...you're one handsome man."

"I could say the same thing about you, Mon amour." Francis winked, eliciting a laugh from the both of them. He rested his head on his hand and stared lovingly at Arthur, letting out a happy close-mouthed sigh.

"My dear Francis, we've been married for twenty-one years and yet you still look at me like I have the entire galaxy in my eyes."

"That's because you keep looking like you have the entire galaxy in your eyes."

"Oh, stop it, you sap."

Francis and Arthur giggled at each other, and Arthur knew that everything was going to be okay.

Meanwhile, back at the house...

"MATTHEW, IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA COME IN THERE MYSELF AND BEAT YOU TO A GODDAMN PULP!" Alfred pounded on the locked door to his bedroom with everything he had, the fury coursing through his veins at the speed of sound. His blood boiled to an unbearable temperature, and his heart pounded like a hammer crashing down on a nail.

Matthew, however, was the opposite of Alfred. He maintained a calm manner as he sifted through a box he found under Alfred's bed, blushing and giggling at the contents. "Oh, don't be so defensive, Alfred, you're adorable!"

"I WON'T BE AFTER I POUND YOUR FUCKING FACE IN, DIPSHIT!"

"There's no need to be violent nor ashamed, Alfred. In fact, I'm impressed. I never knew you were so... _poetic_."

"I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU READ ANY OF THOSE POEMS YOU'LL BE SEEING ANOTHER RELIGION AFTER I'M DONE WITH YOU!"

"Alfred, Alfred...please calm down and let me skim through these in peace. Now, let's see..." He clicked his tongue as he continued to look through the contents, stopping as he pulled out a very-detailed portrait of an attractive, young, Asian man with black hair that fell around his face. He was drawn to seem like he was standing diagonally with his stare facing forward. He wasn't smiling, but that didn't hold Matthew back from thinking that this man was downright adorable. "Alfred, who's this?"

"What are you talking about, _ya_ _shitfuck?_ " At this moment, Alfred gave up with pounding on the door and just leaned against it, breathing heavily, but he was still heated to the maximum.

"This drawing I found. It's of this Asian man. He's very cute!"

"I'm not telling you _squat._ "

"Aw, that's a shame...guess I have to keep on looking!"

" _STOP!_ "

After more searching, Matthew pulled out a manila folder filled with typed papers. They seemed to look like more poems... _love_ poems to be exact. " _My Raven in the Night...?_ " Matthew read confusingly at one of the poem titles.

" _Ohhh, you son of a bitch..._ " Alfred was not having this, sinking down to the floor as Matthew started to read:

" _My Raven in the night with ghostly pale skin,_

 _when can I ever touch you with my own fingers?_

 _My Raven in the night with soft considering eyes,_

 _when will you ever look at me with concern?_

 _My Raven in the night with an exotic foreign accent,_

 _when will you ever whisper into my ear?_

 _My Raven in the night with a big accepting heart,_

 _when you will you ever love me back?_ "

Alfred stuck his head between his knees as he felt his insides shrivel up and fly away with the wind, waiting for whatever torture this was to end. "Why...are you doing this to me..."

Matthew sighed and put the poem back in the folder, sticking it back in the box. "Alfred, I'm not doing this to hurt you, I did it because I was curious as to what was in the box when I found it. I knew you were going to try and stop me, so I locked your door. And then you got all angry and then I thought, 'Gee, whatever's in here must be crazily confidential.'"

"And it was, you piece of shit."

Matthew moved over to sit next to the door, speaking to Alfred on the other side. "...Alfred, be completely honest with me: Do you have a crush on whoever all those things in the box were dedicated to...?"

"Why do you wanna know? So you can tell everyone back at the dorms that Alfred is a fucking gay queer? Do you know what that would do to my reputation?!"

"Alfred, get a hold of yourself. I'm not gonna do that. I just...I wanna know, okay?! Is that bad?! Ugh, I just-...do you have a crush on whoever this person is or not?"

There was a painful silence, then a sigh came from Alfred.

"...Y-Yes..."

"…Okay, what's his name?"

"...Kiku..."

"Kikuuu...?"

"Honda."

"Kiku Honda, eh?" Matthew chuckled and slowly nodded his head. "And what about Kiku Honda has you going all head-over-heels for him?"

Alfred blushed hard as he thought about the man that gave him countless sleepless nights while he was staying at the dorms. "...He, uh...he's in most of my classes, but we only ever talk in my Creative Writing and Art classes..." He went silent for a moment. "I...I don't know, dude. Whenever he speaks, his voice makes my heart flutter, and I have to try my hardest not to stare at him for long periods of time or else I'll look creepy. Oh...he's so smart as well, and he's so creative. One time, he dropped his paint brush, and we both went to pick it up but guess what?"

"What?"

"As we went to grab it, our hands _touched._ They fucking _touched,_ Matthew! That's some shit that only happens in the movies! Oh, Christ, he was so cute about it too. He stuttered and stammered and let me get it for him. When we stood up, our eyes met and I could _feel the fucking sparks..._ "

"Aw, Alfred...why didn't you tell me about this sooner? This is adorable!"

"I didn't tell you because then I would get shit like that."

They both laughed and Matthew stood up to unlock the door, opening it. Alfred stood up as well and looked at Matthew, watching as a grin played on his face. "...When are you gonna ask him out, eh?"

"Tch, never."

Matthew's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets and looked at him with painful surprise. " _Never?!_ But, Alfred, you must ask him out! Why won't you?!"

"Matthew, this may come as a surprise, but not that many people in this world are looking for love in the same gender."

"But why is that stopping you? Alfred, please...give it a chance!"

"But _how,_ Matthew? How does a man go up to another man and be all like, 'Yo, you're hella fine, wanna go out for some Italian food?'" Alfred looked at him with confusion and rubbed at his temples, walking away. "I'll never find love, Matthew! I never will!"

When Alfred was away from earshot, Matthew said to himself, "You may think that, but I know some people who could help you."

.oOo.

" _Ohhh, Francis...mmm, yes...right there...ohhh, God, you know how to hit all the right places..._ " Arthur moaned as Francis kissed all over his neck, sucking and nipping to leave as many marks as he could. After their dinner, they decided to hit up a nice motel near to where they dined to have some old-fashioned _fun,_ and Arthur was loving every goddamn minute of it.

" _I missed your moans, Mon amour..._ " Francis cooed as he continued to leave his marks all over Arthur's neck, feeling his arousal grow harder than ever at each of Arthur's moans.

" _Yes...oh, yes...keep sucking...ohhh, fuck, I want you so bad..._ " All of this neck-loving was getting too much for Arthur, so he grabbed Francis' hair and stared at him straight in the eyes. " _Fuck being gentle, I want you to hold me down and grab at my hair as you shove your massive-_ "

Oh, how he was so rudely interrupted by the ringing of his phone.

Arthur could manage to angrily mumble the most explicit of obscenities as he went to answer, trying his hardest to not sound annoyed as he greeted the person on the other side of the line. "Yes, Matthew?"

"Dad! I hope you're not busy at the moment."

Arthur twitched at the statement. "No…not at all…what's wrong?"

" _Put it on speaker._ " Francis whispered.

"Hang on, Matt, I'm putting you on speaker." With the press of a button, Arthur sat the phone down so the both of them could speak into it. "Okay, what's the matter?"

"Dad, papa, I need your help. I just found out Alfred has a crush on this one guy back at college and…guys, it's intense. I found a box filled with poems and drawings of this guy."

"And?"

" _And_ , I need for you to give Alfred the courage to ask him out!"

Francis sighed softly. "Mathieu, we'll deal with this when we get home. Right now, your father and I are about to…do something special, okay?"

"But-!"

"Au Revoir, Mathieu!" Before any more words were spoken, they already hung up on Matthew and put the phone on silent and out of sight.

Arthur, out of nowhere, flipped Francis onto his back and hovered over him, giving him a devilish smirk. " _Now, where were we?_ "

.oOo.

The next afternoon arrived and Alfred could only glare at Matthew with the most hate-filled glare on his face, pondering whether to kill him now or after the talk he was about to receive from Francis and Arthur. It was almost like he was saying, " _I will literally drown you in your own blood after this_ " but through looks.

Francis, with a beaming and joyful smile, folded his hands on his lap before he started to talk. "Alfred, Mathieu already told me the details of this Kiku person that you have a crush on." He said, filled with joy that annoyed Alfred to the core. "Sooo, your father and I are going to give you some tips on asking him out! First of all-"

"Just ask him out." Arthur interrupted, slightly offending Francis. "You don't need any _tips_ or a _helpful guide_ for this shit. I mean, how do you think I asked your father out?"

Francis looked back at Arthur, confused. "Um…actually, Mon Cher, _I_ asked _you_ out-"

"Nonsense, haha! I went _straight_ up to your father, looked him _directly_ in the eye, and I said, 'Francis Bonnefoy, would you like to partake in a trip to the café one day?' And you know what he said? He said, ' _Oh, yes! I'd love to!_ '"

"Amour, that was a terrible imitation of my accent-"

"So then! Onwards after that, we became more deeply in love, and that is what made our marriage to be where it is today!" Arthur finished off his little story with a small kiss on Francis' cheek, eliciting a small blush from the Frenchman.

Alfred let the whole thing process before speaking. "Sooo, you're telling me that I should basically just…be myself, then?" He asked, arousing small, confused nods from his parents.

Matthew decided to butt in on the conversation. " _And,_ I believe that that's some wonderful advice. Way to go, dad!" He looked down at the floor as his voice died off.

Alfred scoffed with frustration and shook his head. "But…guys, I'm still not so sure about this. What if he doesn't like me ba-?"

"Just do it, _please._ " Arthur interrupted.

"Alright I'll go!"

.oOo.

'Okay, you fucking dweeb,' Alfred thought to himself. 'You're gonna walk in there, act cool, show off a little, and ask him out! I got this!' As he walked into the small coffee shop, his demeanor immediately shut down at the sight of Kiku giggling and conversing with the customers. 'I don't got this…'

With a few kicks of self-motivation, Alfred finally sat down at the counter close to Kiku, winking at him when they made eye contact. 'I probably shouldn't have winked…oh, shit, it caught his attention, though! He's walking over here. Ohhh, God. Act cool, _act cool!_ '

Kiku slowly walked closer to Alfred and smiled as he let out a shaky greeting, folding his hands in front of himself. "Oh…h-hello, Alfred…wh-what brings you here?" He asked, obvious to Alfred that he was nervous.

Alfred chuckled, leaning his elbow on the countertop in an attempt to look cool, when really his metaphorical glass window inside of him was about to shatter. "What do you think? I came here to see _you._ " The corners of his lips started to twitch as his right leg started bouncing, annoying the person sitting next to him.

Kiku could only stare at Alfred with pure nervousness, fidgeting with his clothing to distract himself from the panic. "Oh, Alfred…that's very flattering…thank you…"

'Okay, I can't keep up with this fake _cool dude_ attitude.' Alfred thought and took his elbow off the countertop, looking down and thinking of what to say. "…Look, Kiku…I came over here because…" He slowly tilted his head upwards so he was looking at Kiku's face, feeling his entire face start to get hot. "…I want to ask you something. It took me a lot of courage to do so, but…I finally decided to man up and finally ask you."

"O-…Okay…you can ask me anything, Alfred. We're close…go ahead…"

Alfred looked at Kiku with determination in his eyes, taking a deep breath before letting it all out. "Kiku Honda, I've had a crush on you since I first laid eyes on you in Art class – would you like to go on a date with me sometime?"

Silence.

'Shit, I fucked up.'

Then, Kiku opened his mouth to say something, but could only struggle and stammer before finally getting his words out. "I-…oh, Alfred…yes. Yes, yes! I'd love to go on a date with you!" Kiku was filled with joy, and Alfred felt his insides melt like butter.

"R-Really?! Oh, sweet! That's…that's awesome!"

"My shift ends in an hour. M-Maybe we could…oh, goodness, where could we go?"

"…To that very nice Italian restaurant not too far from here?" Alfred suggested nervously.

Kiku looked at him with dreamy eyes. "Oh, Alfred, that sounds wonderful…I can't wait!"

"I can't wait, either." Alfred repeated and looked at Kiku the same way Francis looks at Arthur – like the entire galaxy was in his eyes. 'I am just too good at this.'

 _ **The end.**_


End file.
